Mid-Life Crisis

As I was driving to work one day this week I was listening to Radio 5 Live when professional misery-guts Nicky Campbell read out a message that he had received from a listener. Said listener was bemoaning the fact that as a middle-aged, white man he was now a member of the only part of society that, in his opinion, it was OK to lampoon and ‘offend’ with impunity. And he wanted it to stop.

And as a middle-aged (fucking 40 next year. 40. Forty!) white (near transparent) man (biologically proven) I couldn’t help but listen to this opinion and think “Shut the fuck up! Take your white privilege chip off your shoulder and shove it up your arse!”

Let’s examine where this man was coming from. He now lives in a world were it is illegal to discriminate against people because of their sex, their race, their sexual orientation. It’s no longer acceptable to casually poke fun at ‘bints’, or ‘pakis’, or ‘puffs’ and this man felt that he should air his view that it should therefore not be acceptable to roast the average middle-aged white man. That’s equality you see.

And he clearly has a point. It is, let us not forget, a little over 100 years since white, middle-aged men had to chain themselves to the gates of Parliament and throw themselves in front of the King’s horse in order to have the right to vote. Before this time, in the previous 200,000 years of homosapien existence on Earth, white, middle-aged men were very much a second class citizen.

In 1955 a white, middle-aged man was arrested in the US for refusing to move from the ‘blacks only’ seats on a bus. This was a huge moment in the white, middle-aged man civil rights movement. White, middle-aged men were historically enslaved, tarred, feathered, lynched and continue to fight against stereotypes to be seen as ‘equal’. We need to stop taking the piss out of them.

Fucking hell, being a white, middle-aged man was even illegal until 1967. Who couldn’t fail to be moved by the story of Alan Turing, mathematician and war hero, who was arrested and convicted for simply being a middle-aged, white man. Choosing to be chemically castrated, and then taking his own life rather than continue to live with the social ‘shame’ of being a middle-aged, white man. And yet the discrimination continues.

It’s 2017 and a ‘middle-aged’, white man has just become President of the USA. Please continue to take the piss. Left unchecked middle-aged, white men will make everyone’s lives a fucking misery. Especially if we’re driving to work and listening to their ‘woe is me’ bullshit.


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